getting out of friend zone

[puaintraining]

Hey guys,

I've been reading up here. Please let me know what I've been doing wrong/right.

Here's the situation:

This girl and I were acquaintances. We knew each other for a while, but we didn't really talk much. I didn't care much for her.

Somehow we go to talking more and more. So much that we talked basically everyday for a month. Bla bla bla. We continued talking and hanging out. We got pretty fucking tight. At a party she was piss ass drunk and basically held my hand for 3 hours and slept on my shoulder and talked to me. That's pretty much when I fell for her. We continued talking. A week later, another party, but this time she was hella awkward around me. So I got fucking wasted in attempt of breaking down that barrier. So apparently in my drunken stupor I told her I wanted to be with her. Big fucking mistake. She said something about not wanting to commit. She talks to me the next day and gives me the dreaded "just friends" speech. She deviated from the standard friend speech and said that I was different and that I had a shot and that she was confused about me. I was pretty indifferent and just played it off as if everything were alright.

I even took her out on a "nondate." I thought it went pretty well and she definitely enjoyed herself.

She continued talking to me basically everyday. I decided I had to do something about this. This is where I put my plan into action.

She still tried to talk to me everyday. I would either dodge her calls or just be uninterested when I did talk to her. I did this to the point where she doesn't try to talk to me anymore.

I've been working out, got some new clothes, and a new haircut. Basically "recreated" myself.

So it's been 2-3 weeks since I've last talked to her and I'm confident she will hit me up again sometime this week.

Apart from the general stuff I've read on the site, what do you guys have for me?

Thanks for all your help!

[Brock Landers]

First of all, most people will tell you that once in the friend zone its very difficult to get out, and actually to move on. You have to ask yourself this question: Would going through all the trouble of getting with this girl be worth it if you knew you could go out any night of the week and get with another beautiful girl of your choosing?

If not then you may have a bit of oneitis which there is a cure too, but I don't need to mention here.

You say you've recreated yourself and have not really been communicating with her for 2 to 3 weeks. I'd argue that 2 to 3 weeks isn't long enough time for you to completely reinvent yourself. If you truely want to try to plow through this friendzone thing, your gonna have to dissappear completely for a while, I'm talking maybe a couple months. During that time, you need to work on you, practice the fundementals, and work on increasing your options with other women. Having options will also make you appear even more valuable in her eyes than if she's your only option. But chances are, after you do all this, you may come to the realization that you can do better than her anyways.

And please, for the love of f#$k, cut out the alcohol. Its a crutch, and as you can see, it blew whatever chances you had with this girl. I cannot stress this to people enough. Alcohol is the enemy of Game. AFC's clutch their confidence juice close to their chest, protecting themselves from their own insecurities. So either minimize it or eliminate it all together. Making a bad impression on someone is really hard to get out of, so thats why 2 to 3 weeks won't be enough as well.

Focus on yourself. Be determined to refine your game, and the ladies will come. Do this for yourself. Remember, if you make one girl that important, you are just asking to get in your own way.

[puaintraining]

First of all, most people will tell you that once in the friend zone its very difficult to get out, and actually to move on. You have to ask yourself this question: Would going through all the trouble of getting with this girl be worth it if you knew you could go out any night of the week and get with another beautiful girl of your choosing?
If not then you may have a bit of oneitis which there is a cure too, but I don't need to mention here.
This is definitely a case of oneitis. I've read a lot about the friend zone and it's a toughie. Most often it's best to cut your losses and move on. I have been learning and practicing over the past few weeks so I'm pretty much just going in for that last shot. If it works, awesome. If not, I'll learn from my mistake and move on.

You say you've recreated yourself and have not really been communicating with her for 2 to 3 weeks. I'd argue that 2 to 3 weeks isn't long enough time for you to completely reinvent yourself. If you truely want to try to plow through this friendzone thing, your gonna have to dissappear completely for a while, I'm talking maybe a couple months. During that time, you need to work on you, practice the fundementals, and work on increasing your options with other women. Having options will also make you appear even more valuable in her eyes than if she's your only option. But chances are, after you do all this, you may come to the realization that you can do better than her anyways.
Three weeks definitely isn't enough. I'd have to agree with you there. I think I'm pretty much the same person, but the image I'm presenting now is totally different. That's why I quoted recreated. I'm just making it seem like I have changed so I can get in there again and not immediately be categorized as a friend.

I've been working 3 other options and they're looking pretty good. Practiced and learned from the 3. I've been flaunting a bit too so I'm pretty sure the oneitis girl knows about them. Again, one last attempt and then I'll move on.

And please, for the love of f#$k, cut out the alcohol. Its a crutch, and as you can see, it blew whatever chances you had with this girl. I cannot stress this to people enough. Alcohol is the enemy of Game. AFC's clutch their confidence juice close to their chest, protecting themselves from their own insecurities. So either minimize it or eliminate it all together. Making a bad impression on someone is really hard to get out of, so thats why 2 to 3 weeks won't be enough as well.

Believe me, brock, I've learned my lesson. I've been dry since the incident, over a month. Definitely gonna get me some better wings and watch myself more carefully. She didn't really take it badly and if anything I think it brought us closer. 3 weeks isn't enough, but I'm about ready to just go for it and get it over with.


Focus on yourself. Be determined to refine your game, and the ladies will come. Do this for yourself. Remember, if you make one girl that important, you are just asking to get in your own way.
Working on my game everyday. Practice makes perfect.

Thanks for your help, brock.